Articles

Test Driving Marriage

“Mexico City lawmakers want to help newlyweds avoid the hassle of divorce by giving them an easy exit strategy: temporary marriage licenses.” ~ Reuters

This attempt to destroy marriage is just another in a long line of offensives in the anti-traditional marriage playbook. If passed this would in essence give couples the option to define the length of the marriage up-front. For example, if I wanted to try it out with my girlfriend we could set the term at a minimum of two years and see how it goes. If I get tired of her nagging or she doesn’t like the smell of my dirty laundry, we can legally break it off after the contract is up in two years. Now I won’t get into the politics of this as I’m sure you can find plenty of political commentaries elsewhere, but let’s discuss how this undermines the true meaning of marriage as a God-given, life-long union between one man and one woman.

‘Til (TBD) Do Us Part

Right off the bat you can see the obvious contradiction to the whole life-long commitment that is marriage. After all, don’t the wedding rings symbolize the never ending-ness of that bond? What happened to maintaining that marital bond “in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, until death do us part?” I know on my wedding day that part was very important to me. If my wife and I hadn’t seen marriage as a life-long commitment to each other, what is there left to celebrate? We went into our marriage with the conviction and desire to spend the rest of our lives together.

“Some Pharisees approached him, and tested him, saying, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever?’ He said in reply, ‘Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator made them male and female and said, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate.'” ~ Matthew 19:3-6

That’s about as permanent as it gets. Of course, there are those athiests or non-believers to whom the words of Jesus mean as much as the words of Joan Rivers, but what is their reason for marriage: economic prosperity and tax benefits? No. They too desire a loving relationship with their partner based on the strength of their commitment to each other, not the financial potential of a proposed “business relationship.”

Sign on the Dotted Line

If marriage is looked at as a mere contract or business transaction, than either party can terminate at will. This is the reason that more than half of all marriages end in divorce. If you’re going into your marriage thinking it’s probably not going to work out, then you can’t be too surprised when it doesn’t. A civil marriage basically handles property, money, and other stuff. No wonder many people these days equate marriage with nothing more than a piece of paper. Unless you are getting married in the Church, then that’s kinda true.

Don’t get me wrong, I was one of those people that thought this way. When I met my wife I told her that I wasn’t getting married until we had lived together for at least five years to make sure the marriage would last. Looking back, my former way of thinking is laughable. I soon changed my ways and we’re now making our way through our second year of marriage. Praise God!

More than a Contract

When a man and a woman come together in the sacrament of Holy Matrimony they become “one flesh.” They aren’t just signing a contract to protect their assets, but they making a covenant. A covenant is a promise made between two people that cannot be broken and lasts forever. We hear alot about covenants between God and His people throughout the Bible. Think of Noah and Abraham in Genesis and Jesus in the Gospels making the new covenant in His blood. These are promises, not contracts. You couldn’t go back on your word and even after you die the covenant would apply to your descendants as well.

So a marriage is a covenant, not a contract, because it’s a promise between a man and a woman that lasts forever. Imagine if God broke his promises? Our relationship with God is also a covenant and through Jesus Christ we are given the opportunity to become part of His family. As adopted sons and daughters of God we take part in the greatest love relationship there is: the blessed trinity. And “His love endures forever.”

There’s No I in Team

Our modern western society tries to convince us that it’s all about ourselves: what’s best for me, what I want, what makes me feel good. But marriage is the perfect to solution to this problem. In marriage we learn to “deny ourselves” and care for others. Marriage is a team effort and both husband and wife should be on the same side shooting for the same goal. Of course there will be problems that arise, but that’s when you turn to each other for support. Just as the quarterback depends on his guys to keep him protected, so in marriage a couple should count on each other.

“Their union has always been threatened by discord, a spirit of domination, infidelity, jealousy, and conflicts that can escalate into hatred and separation. ” ~ CCC 1606

The Church isn’t saying that marriage is easy. In fact, it’s one of the most challenging adventures I’ve been on. But it’s also one of the most rewarding. I love you Mrs. Jones!