Patience is a Virtue
Don’t you just hate when people say that!? And it’s always when you have just run out of patience that they do. When my wife woke me up in the early morning to tell me she was starting to have minor contractions I jumped out of bed. The adrenaline hit me and I was ready to take her down to the hospital to pop this baby out. But… it wasn’t time yet. We went for a couple of walks to help the labor progress, but although we were ready at that moment, the baby wasn’t.
Throughout the day I must have asked my wife a hundred times, “Are the contractions getting stronger? Is it time to go?” I mean, we had waited nine long months for this day, let’s get it done, right? Well that’s what I was thinking inside anyway. I realized that I had to be patient and help my wife to remain calm and breath through the contractions as they continued to grow stronger and stronger. Then, finally, we were on our way to Labor & Delivery.
Get Off of Your Butt
Once we arrived at the hospital we found ourselves at the mercy of a not-so-nice receptionist who mumbled some unintelligible command through the smacking of her chewing gum. After asking her to repeat herself a few times we deciphered the message as “get out of the chair.” Yeah, nice I know. Then she asked us, “What are you here for?” My wife and I looked at each other with amazement. There is only one reason someone would want to go to Labor & Delivery. Moving on…
The doctor who checked her dilation thought she was ready to be admitted, but her colleague disagreed and had us walk for a couple more hours. At this point we were able to put what we had learned in our Lamaze class into practice—movement, upright positions, visualations techniques, etc. After only an hour and a half we went from 5cm to 7cm and proved that doubting doctor wrong.
What I realized through this experience was that we can’t just be laying in bed with I.V.’s in our arms waiting for the big moment. We have to be actively pursuing it, doing things to help the labor progress. As Christians we can relate this to the spiritual life which often times can be very difficult and even painful. But there is always someone who is in a worse situation than us and we reach out to them—physically, spiritually, emotionally—to tend to their needs and show them that they can do it. Our faith is not just an intellectual belief in a supreme being. Our faith as Christians calls us to action, to live in a manner that bears witness to Christ.
You Need Support
Once we were admitted we were showed into our delivery suite and we knew that we were moving into the next stage of the journey. When I say “we” I am referring to my wife and I, my mother-in-law, my father-in-law, and my mother, who were all present during the delivery of our child. At first I figured my wife would want fewer people there to help her remain calm, but as we got closer to the end I came to see things her way. She wanted people their to support her, not necessarily actively supporting her, but just being their with her.
As her contractions became more painful and closer together she began to feel tired and doubted she could go on. It was my job at this point to encourage her and support her. I praised her for getting as far as she had and told her that she was doing a great job. There were moments when she felt like giving up, but she didn’t, rather she called out to God for strength and she felt His comforting presence. Once it was time to push it was me and my mother-in-law working together with my wife. I was helping her to breathe and my mother-in-law was holding her hand on the other side of the bed. At this point the pain didn’t matter anymore, all that she wanted to do was push the baby out. She told me that my assisting her breathing really helped and I came to see that having us there served as support for her during this difficult time.
As Christians we live in community, as part of the mystical body of Christ. We are there for each other both body and soul, providing for the physical needs of others through the corporal works of mercy and for each other’s souls through the spiritual works of mercy. We are all on this journey of faith together and we need each other. We are mistaken when we think that we can do it alone, or that our faith is solely individual—the “me and Jesus” spirituality is not what Christianity is about. God is a “we”—the Holy Trinity (Gn 1:26); Father, Son, and Holy Spirit (Mt 28:19)—and He is not alone in Heaven, he is surrounded by a “great cloud of witnesses (Heb 12:1),” martyrs, saints, and angels (Rv 4 and Rev 7:9-17).
It’s All Worth It
In the end, all the discomfort and pain that she endured was worth it. Once that beautiful baby was placed on her chest time seemed to stop for a moment as we all looked on with awe. I am so glad that I was able to participate in the birth of my son. Supporting my wife in ways that to me seemed so trivial actually were of substantial help to her.
It was a physically strenuous experience for all of us involved, but it was a sacrifice that brought forth life to the world. Joshua Obadiah Jones has changed our marriage, our family, and our lives forever.