“Why are you downcast, my soul; why do you groan within me?”
~ Psalms 42:6
He feels down, maybe even depressed. Later on he explains his intense desire for joy which at present he finds himself without. He acknowledges that something isn’t quite right. He is off-balance, wanting, lacking. What is it that he is missing? Well, later on in this psalm he reminisces of the times when he experienced deep intimacy with God in worship, rejoicing in His presence. But now, he finds himself alone in the desert, parched, thirsty, longing for that intimacy he once shared.
I’m quite positive you’ve experienced these moments of joy, peace, intimacy with God. Perhaps on a retreat, or maybe during a particular season of your life when you seemed to find God everywhere and all the time. These moments are like the cool waters of the lush oasis where we wish we could remain forever. Only as we begin to enjoy it do we suddenly find ourselves back in the scorching sun and the dry sands of the desert.
Spiritual Dryness
During these hot summer months I’m sure you’ve experienced thirst, at least on a physical level. You see the billboards and commercials with an ice cold drink and it calls out to you, beckoning for you to “come to the water”. This longing is a good thing, for without it we would not seek out the water to drink, replenishing what we have lost through sweat and tears.
“As the deer longs for streams of water, so my soul longs for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, the living God. When can I enter and see the face of God?”
~ Psalms 42:2-3
On the battlefield of life, through the suffering we encounter day to day we slowly lose that which we are made of, that which we have been filled with, grace, the very life of God. We must be replenished, refilled. And in the core of our being we feel a longing, a yearning for Him. The psalmist says “why do you groan within me?”. And it very much is a groaning, much like when we are hungry our stomachs groan or growl, reminding us that we must eat. So too our souls groan within us, calling out for the Beloved, longing to share in the depths of His grace, yearning for the intimacy through which we are filled with God.
It is important to realize that we all go through these periods of dryness—usually of our own doing, by turning away from God for something else. And, of course, He allows us to stray and to suffer, so that in the end we will realize our thirst for Him. It’s a sort of built-in spiritual compass that God so lovingly decided to include. Without it we might never even realize that we need Him.
Quenching Our Thirst
One of the biggest obstacles to quenching the thirst of our souls is that unlike the psalmist, we often fail to realize that it is God we thirst for. Perhaps we think we need to fill the longing with a new job or a new love interest. Or maybe we seek peace in the bottom of a bottle or worse. If you’re like me than you’ve probably experienced this type of deviation from the path. And in our efforts to fill ourselves, to feel whole again, we actually feel even more empty. It’s kind of like trying to quench your thirst with soda or milk, in the end you just feel even more thirsty.
The reason is we are trying to fill a God-shaped hole with everything but God! The only way to quench the thirst of our souls is to immerse ourselves into the ocean of God. No longer can we carry on with our lives as we please coming back only to dip the tip of our finger in water and cool our tongue. (Lk 16:24) As humans we tend to fall into the deadly trap of minimalism, exerting the least possible effort yet hoping for the most possible gain, seeking to have our cake and eat it too. It doesn’t work this way with God.
Why do you think when Jesus called His disciples they left behind everything and followed Him? Of course it wasn’t easy. It was to them and is now for us a sacrifice. To leave ourselves behind and follow Him. To leave everything behind on the sands of the shore and dive in to the infinite depths of the ocean of God’s love.
Question: What is it that you really long for in depths of your soul? Is it God? Have you tried filling that void, that emptiness, that yearning with something other than God? Are you ready to set these things aside and enter again into intimacy with God?