Throughout the day I thought about the relationship that I have with my loved ones and how important it is to share our lives with the ones we love. This had been something that I had had on my mind for a while now, but had failed to attempt to change. I hopped on my bike and headed to the nearest parish so I could humble myself in Christ’s presence and ask for His forgiveness. As I knelt before the tabernacle and unleashed all of the feelings that I had been holding in for so long, I finally felt another level of peace with myself.
I have promised myself that I will try much harder to step away from my work and myself and spend time with my family. I have vowed not to let my passion for my work take control of my relationship with the people that I hold dear. It has been a humbling experience and over the past few years since my conversion to the Catholic faith, I can’t but thank God for helping me to learn from every difficult situation that I encounter. If we take a step back and look at what is really wrong in our lives, from stacks of unpaid bills, to troubles in the marriage, we can come to see that through prayer all of our pains are healed. That closeness and reliance on God the Father is the essence of our relationship with Him.
As Jesus told his Apostles in the Gospel of Matthew 21:22, “Whatever you ask for in prayer with faith, you will recieve.” Obviously our prayers must be in accordance with the will of God, but I have come to learn that the more we pray the more the Holy Spirit guides us closer to the understanding of God’s will. I remember my first times praying for material possessions or freebies, but now it’s clearer to me that God doesn’t give handouts. Of course a father wants the best for his children, and in that way so God wants the best for us. But many times the children don’t necessarily understand this idea until they have grown up a little and matured. I believe it’s the same with prayer, after we begin to grow spiritually we better understand the fact that God doesn’t just spoil us with whatever we ask for. But He is always listening and the more we put our faith in Him, the more His glory begins to manifest in our life.
When we pray the Our Father we say “thy kingdom come, thy will be done,” and it’s important that we actually believe this. I pray that God help me to be less selfish and more selfless. To put Him first above all things and to lead as an example of a true Christian.