A few months ago we took advantage of an opportunity to help a young couple by opening the doors of our home. Not only did we provide a place for them to stay, but we helped them in their job search, shuttled them to and from prenatal doctor visits, and welcomed them at table. It came fairly natural to us and we didn’t think twice about it.
Those who had initially offered to help later changed their minds after they realized that the lifestyle these people were living was not in line with their religious beliefs—primarily cohabitation and premarital sex. We, of course, had this same realization, but saw it as both an opportunity to love the “least of my brethren” as well as a chance to evangelize. It wasn’t our desire to convert them, but it was a welcome side-effect.
Real Love is Free
Those who denied them help and support have changed their minds again, and are now helping this young family (they just had a baby a couple of months ago). This is a good thing, however I would submit that there is an ulterior motive. You see, this couple finally gave in to the constant bombarding of invitations to come to church. For this reason, they are now offering their support again.
“Charity, furthermore, cannot be used as a means of engaging in what is nowadays considered proselytism. Love is free; it is not practised as a way of achieving other ends.”
~ Pope Benedict XVI, Deus Caritas Est, 31
My wife and I see this scenario as an attempt at proselytism, to get this young people into their church, which in essence isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The reason it causes us scandal is because of their initial denial of help and support. Only now that there is a possibility of this young couple becoming Christians are they actively willing to support them.
Real Love Speaks… Loud
Our primary concern in our support of this couple was to give freely of the gift of love that God has so richly lavished upon us. When the time was right and the conversation permitted it, we also shared our faith with them and explained the importance of marriage, but only so much as they welcomed it.
“Pure and generous love is the best witness to the God in whom we believe and by whom we are driven to love. A Christian knows when it is time to speak of God and when it is better to say nothing and to let love alone speak.”
~ Pope Benedict XVI, Deus Caritas Est, 31
There are those holy men and women throughout the ages who have given their love so freely and selflessly that their impact has been felt around the world. These are the saints. People like Francis of Assisi or Mother Teresa are household names who embodied love. They talked about God when they got the chance, but it was their bringing love to life that has impacted the world so profoundly.
Real Love Unites
“Love is ‘divine’ because it comes from God and unites us to God; through this unifying process it makes us a ‘we’ which transcends our divisions and makes us one, until in the end God is ‘all in all’ (1 Cor 15:28).”
~ Pope Benedict XVI, Deus Caritas Est, 18
Too often we as Christians separate ourselves from others and build walls between us and them. In doing this we not only set a bad example as Christians, but we also rob these people of their innate human dignity. Whether or not someone believes in God or shares the same faith that we do, should not be a prerequisite for friendship. We are called to love our neighbors, not only those who we like and agree with, but also those who we don’t.
“Without cost you have received; without cost you are to give.”
~ Matthew 10:8
Our love cannot come at a cost. For love is only truly love when it is freely given, whether or not it is mutual, whether or not the action is reciprocated. Are you prejudice with your love? God doesn’t love you only when you love Him in return. He loves you unconditionally. So who are you to decide who is worthy of your love? What kind of example are you showing when you offer help and support only to those of your faith and deny the rest of those in need? To evangelize, to share your faith, is to love.
All the quotations in this post are taken from Deus Caritas Est, “God is Love” the first encyclical from Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI. You can find it in book format on Amazon.com or read it for free online at Vatican.va. You can also read my review of Deus Caritas Est.