It seems the whole world wants you to use condoms. They even give them out for free these days! Why? For all the reasons I mentioned above. But what I want to show today is that condoms aren’t doing as great a job as they are given credit for.
Sending the Wrong Messages
This past week I noticed this billboard as I was driving down the street and I was honestly appalled. As if young people these days aren’t already bombarded with marketing messages from an overly sexualized media, let’s give them explicit permission. Yes, many will say it’s better to promote safe-sex since the kids are going to do it anyway. Well perhaps we’re going about it the wrong way. If we tell them “Don’t have sex.” they’ll do it. It’s like telling them not to touch that jar of cookies on the counter.
If we were trying to prevent them from using heroin, would we tell them “Okay kids, you can use heroin, but just don’t share needles. Here are some free sterilized needles. Have fun!” Of course not. Everyone admits that heroin is dangerous, except the heroin addict. He thinks heroin is great!
People want an excuse to continue bad behavior. But your bad behaviors don’t need to broadcast and mass-marketed to an already troubled group of vulnerable young people. Perhaps the message that needs to be shown to them is one of a healthy marriage. A marriage where a husband and a wife love each other, support each other, and give themselves to each other exclusively. But that’s not the marriage you see on TV is it? No. You see a caricature of marriage, where spouses argue and bicker, fuss and fight, cheat and lie. Well of course no kid is going to want that. That’s why family is so important, but we’ll save that for another post.
Why Would You Use a Condom?
If you have to use a condom, then maybe you shouldn’t be knocking the boots. You’ve got to discern and make reasoned decisions. For what reason would you use a condom?
Prevent AIDS and Other STDs
If you are worried that the person you are about to have sex with is going to share their disease with you, then maybe this isn’t such a good idea. I mean, how do you think they got that gonorrhea in the first place? You wouldn’t take a bite of a sandwich if the bread was moldy, would you? Use your brain.
Avoid Unwanted Pregnancy
You know how babies are made, right? So maybe, just maybe, if you’re not ready for a baby, then you’re not ready for sex. Babies are for marriage and so is sex. A husband and wife are open to the possibility of the gift of children. A one-night stand, not so much. Condoms haven’t even been shown to be that effective against preventing pregnancy.
Sex is Better without Barriers
Trust me, I’ve learned this the hard way. As a married man I enjoy the gift of herself that my wife can freely share with me without the concern of STDs, unwanted pregnancy, etc. All I am getting is her. She would say the same thing.
“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body. The man and his wife were both naked, yet they felt no shame.”
That’s what sex is all about, giving yourself to your spouse. You are naked. You feel no shame. You are one body, one flesh. It’s a unique gift that is shared with them and them alone. How about we remind the world, especially the young people, that this is sex. Sex is beautiful, it’s good, it’s unitive, it’s procreative, and it’s meant for marriage.
For more information on this topic I would recommend 1Flesh.org.