Why Catholics Like Sex Better Without Condoms


It seems to me that these days condoms have become the answer to any sex-related issue that arises. Unwanted pregnancy? Use a condom. AIDS? Use a condom. Sexually-transmitted disease? Use a condom. Cheating on your wife? Use a condom. Statutory rape? Use a condom. High abortion rate? Use a condom. What I would like to point out is the fact that condoms aren't helping anything. The Catholic Church's stance on condoms gets us a lot of negative heat, but unfortunately the truth hurts.

It seems the whole world wants you to use condoms. They even give them out for free these days! Why? For all the reasons I mentioned above. But what I want to show today is that condoms aren’t doing as great a job as they are given credit for.

Sending the Wrong Messages

This past week I noticed this billboard as I was driving down the street and I was honestly appalled. As if young people these days aren’t already bombarded with marketing messages from an overly sexualized media, let’s give them explicit permission. Yes, many will say it’s better to promote safe-sex since the kids are going to do it anyway. Well perhaps we’re going about it the wrong way. If we tell them “Don’t have sex.” they’ll do it. It’s like telling them not to touch that jar of cookies on the counter.

If we were trying to prevent them from using heroin, would we tell them “Okay kids, you can use heroin, but just don’t share needles. Here are some free sterilized needles. Have fun!” Of course not. Everyone admits that heroin is dangerous, except the heroin addict. He thinks heroin is great!

People want an excuse to continue bad behavior. But your bad behaviors don’t need to broadcast and mass-marketed to an already troubled group of vulnerable young people. Perhaps the message that needs to be shown to them is one of a healthy marriage. A marriage where a husband and a wife love each other, support each other, and give themselves to each other exclusively. But that’s not the marriage you see on TV is it? No. You see a caricature of marriage, where spouses argue and bicker, fuss and fight, cheat and lie. Well of course no kid is going to want that. That’s why family is so important, but we’ll save that for another post.

If you have to use a condom, then maybe you shouldn't be knocking boots.

Why Would You Use a Condom?

If you have to use a condom, then maybe you shouldn’t be knocking the boots. You’ve got to discern and make reasoned decisions. For what reason would you use a condom?

Prevent AIDS and Other STDs

If you are worried that the person you are about to have sex with is going to share their disease with you, then maybe this isn’t such a good idea. I mean, how do you think they got that gonorrhea in the first place? You wouldn’t take a bite of a sandwich if the bread was moldy, would you? Use your brain.

Avoid Unwanted Pregnancy

You know how babies are made, right? So maybe, just maybe, if you’re not ready for a baby, then you’re not ready for sex. Babies are for marriage and so is sex. A husband and wife are open to the possibility of the gift of children. A one-night stand, not so much. Condoms haven’t even been shown to be that effective against preventing pregnancy.

Sex is Better without Barriers

Trust me, I’ve learned this the hard way. As a married man I enjoy the gift of herself that my wife can freely share with me without the concern of STDs, unwanted pregnancy, etc. All I am getting is her. She would say the same thing.

“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body. The man and his wife were both naked, yet they felt no shame.”

~ Genesis 2:24-25

That’s what sex is all about, giving yourself to your spouse. You are naked. You feel no shame. You are one body, one flesh. It’s a unique gift that is shared with them and them alone. How about we remind the world, especially the young people, that this is sex. Sex is beautiful, it’s good, it’s unitive, it’s procreative, and it’s meant for marriage.

For more information on this topic I would recommend 1Flesh.org.

Want a Better Way to Lead Your Friends and Family to God?

Do you have friends and family members who have left the Church, have turned their backs on God, and want nothing to do with their faith?

I do. And I’m sure you do too. So how do you get this message across to someone who doesn’t want to hear it? How do you share your faith with people in a way that will lead them to life change?

Learn More about the Book

Discussion


  • Fr. Jack

    Thanks for the good reflection. Two points that I would like to add. 1. The time before marriage is well used as an entrance into other levels of intimacy.Psychological intimacy ( transparency) and spiritual intimacy will transform physical intimacy in the marriage bond into a celebration of what is : namely , growing unity. 2. The Billings method on natural family planing is a beautiful way to connect sacrifice with love with intimacy. It is not difficult. Couples who live in humble houses on dirt roads in the sprawling colonias of Tijuana are practicing the Billings method of natural family planing today. I know them

  • I agree 100% Father. I didn’t want to get too in-depth on this post since I was focusing primarily on the condom issue. I do plan on future posts on marriage and NFP, both of which I’ve had some experience. 
    We found that by committing to renewed chastity during the six month engagement leading up to our marriage we were able to grow in intimacy as you mentioned. Then after we were married God called us away from contraception and into His plan for our sexuality, namely natural family planning. 

    Thanks again for your comments and I look forward to your continued feedback!

Copyright © 2017 Leaders that Follow — Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam — Designed by Websites for Catholics
X