In the Land of the Free Me
American society is all about self. We are so caught up in our self-centeredness. What’s best for me? What makes me feel good? What do I want to do? What do others think about me? Of course there is a natural and even healthy level of self-centeredness that is necessary for survival when it comes to things like feeding ourselves, getting sleep, and staying out of physical harm. But there is also a fine line—a line we often cross—between self-preservation and selfishness.
In Los Angeles appearance is thought to be everything. We—yes I include myself—judge others by their outward appearance before even getting to know them and within the blink of an eye we have already formulated our idea of who they are without ever bothering to even ask. Another of the downsides of living in the City of the Angels—which my wife and I noticed right away—is the fact that everyone is moving so fast in order to keep ahead of the next guy. We don’t want to keep up with the Joneses, we want to outdue the Joneses.
This flawed mindset is dangerous and causes us to become prideful. It causes our world to be void of God and neighbor and consist of only ourselves and our unhealthy vision of ourselves.
Learning this Lesson the Hard Way
I became a Christian about four years ago—the same amount of time I have been living in California—and the gift of faith was bestowed upon me and I believed in God, although my understanding of Him was infantile at this point. I attempted to begin a new life as a Christian, but I was off to a slow start. My unhealthy self-centeredness had not yet been dealt with. I attended a charismatic spanish prayer group at our local parish every week with my wife and her family which taught me how to pray, introduced me to the Scriptures, and got my spiritual muscles moving for the first time in my life.
One night at the prayer group the question was asked of all in attendance, “Who is worried about losing their job?” The fact that I was a head and a half taller than everyone else in the room only brought more attention to the fact that I was probably the only person who didn’t raise their hand. My boss had assured me that he was happy with my work just earlier that week and in a phone conversation with my father he had asked me the same question just days earlier. Within the next few days I was jobless.
God’s Plan for Me > My Plan for Me
In my own experience—and, I imagine in the experience of most young people—it is “natural” to be self-centered. This led me to pride, thinking that I was superior to others. Not only did I see myself as superior, but I looked down on others. I treated people as if they were nothing. I expected everything from others and nothing of myself. I valued my self-worth by my material possessions. The world revolved around me.
“I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. You shall not have other gods beside me. You shall not make for yourself an idol or a likeness of anything in the heavens above or on the earth below or in the waters beneath the earth; you shall not bow down before them or serve them. For I, the LORD, your God, am a jealous God, inflicting punishment for their ancestors’ wickedness on the children of those who hate me, down to the third and fourth generation; but showing love down to the thousandth generation of those who love me and keep my commandments.” ~ Exodus 20:2-6
The great thing about God is that He won’t let you go around thinking that you are Him. In my case, I had come to see myself as a sort of god. I didn’t outright claim to be my own creator, but I worshipped and glorified myself, rather than God. I gave myself all the glory. I had become my own idol, my own false god. Far be it for God to keep His promises. He brought me to my knees and showed me that I was nothing. He revealed Himself to me and let me know that the way I had been living was wrong.
The Power of Selflessness
As I have grown this point has become even clearer. When I went from being a single teenager to a married twenty-something, I matured in many ways—the most important of which was caring not only about myself, but of my wife. When I met my wife I was a selfish, inconsiderate, immature boy with a superiority complex. This reality drew me to even more selfish behaviors leaving me with an addiction to pornography and teetering on the verge of alcoholism. These vices or addictions are a direct result of the self-centeredness fostered by our society. Perhaps this is why God’s plan for me and for most people providentially provides a solution to this problem…marriage.
By coming into a holy union with my wife I was forced to acknowledge my behaviors and overall view of life were unhealthy and leading me down a path that I did not want to go. It taught me that my love should not only be directed at myself, but towards others—specifically, her—and to God.
“When the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together, and one of them [a scholar of the law] tested him by asking, ‘Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?’ He said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments.'” ~ Matthew 22:34-40
In His plan God has freed me from myself and I am now able to love in a way that I never thought possible. He has taught me the meaning of true love. He shown me the way to true happiness. He has revealed to me through His only Begotten Son Jesus Christ that love, true self-giving love, is the answer to all the problems with which are confronted in this world:
- abortion, contraception, and sterilization
- violence, murder, and war
- starvation, poverty, and illness
If we truly follow the Greatest Commandment to love God with all of our being and to love others as we love ourselves, we will bring an end to all of these problem. Don’t believe me? Try it. I dare you. What’ve you got to lose?