The first time I went on a retreat, one of the things that really caught me off guard was the fact that the guys who were there weren’t trying to be something they weren’t. These were men of all different backgrounds, yet you couldn’t tell them apart. They were all different, yet they all felt like brothers. They were real in themselves and real in the way they interacted with others. Nobody tried to look cool or macho.

It’s important to some people, particularly men, to put on a good show, you know the “I make this look good” routine. It’s cool in the movies, but in real life, it actually tends to push people away, which is the last thing a leader should do. When you look at the president, celebrities, or even the saints, it’s often difficult to relate to them. They are something you are not. They are almost superhuman, at least it seems that way. That’s because we don’t often see them for who they are. We hear about what they have done, but we don’t see them do it. We see how they look, but it is different than getting to know them on a personal level.

Le Nain, Antoine and Louis (d.1648) & Mathieu (1607-77) Private Collection / Photo © Christie’s Images / The Bridgeman Art Library

That’s what was so amazing about Jesus. Before Him people knew there was a God, that existed…somewhere. But it wasn’t personal. It was difficult to relate. But Jesus showed us that God loves us, that He wants us to know Him as a child knows his father.

Think of Jesus as an infant—small, weak, unable to do anything Himself. Vulnerable. Think of Him on the cross—naked, weak, close to death. Vulnerable. Or think of Him in the Eucharist—a fragile piece of unleavened bread, placed gently in our hands or on our tongues. Vulnerable. He put Himself out there amidst danger, death, and desecration, but in His weakness and vulnerability He was made strong. It is the willingness to be made vulnerable that makes a good leader great. Not because he is weak, but because he does not fear his weakness.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.”

~ 2 Corinthians 12:9

For more on this topic check out this amazing talk by Pat Lencioni.

Question: Do people know the real you? What about yourself are you afraid to share with others? How can you allow yourself to be more vulnerable so that others may catch a glimpse of your humanity?